by KC Pollak
11.000 x 8.500 inches
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Painting - Alcohol Ink On Kirkland Photo Paper
When you end a life. It's a life that ends. The possibility has ended. The choice made is a line between what’s possible and end. Black and white. Dark and light. Life ended is end to life. No firsts. Only endings. No joys. Only end. No peace. No love. End. It will haunt. Forever
This piece was created out of a place of sorrow but comes from a place of healing. A dark place came bubbling out. But a beautiful one resulted. Here's the story: The fact that I didn’t choose life as a young adult resulted in a lifetime of misery. I had no idea what was going on, I just knew that there was a deep, sad hole in my soul. Depression weighed heavily on my off and on for over thirty years. There was a shame that I didn’t understand the reason for. Everybody chooses to live their life in any way they choose. I wasn’t ready for a baby, I wasn’t ready to be a mom, I was way too young! Because of that choice I began a spiral in my life that would result in me trying to end my life at the age of 43. Thankfully I had people in my life at just the right time and at critical places. I woke up to why I had this deep despair in my heart. I began to let myself live again by having a relationship with God. I knew I was forgiven the moment I asked for it. But being forgiven and accepting that forgiveness for yourself are two different things entirely! About two years ago I had a breakthrough. I began accepting forgiveness and understanding that the young woman I was is part of who I am now. I’m a new creation, yes. But I’m also a compilation of all my experiences through life. I feel a deep need to communicate this critical life moment to people. To help as many women choose life as possible. To save others from a life of despair and sadness and great sorrow. You have a choice! We have to make this choice knowing that another human being is in the crosshairs of it. This piece is the beginning of a set called ‘Life Chosen’. This one is #1, Heartbeat. I’m not trying to make anyone sad. This is a triumph in my life. Life is beautiful and I’m now trying to communicate the preciousness of life in these pieces. They’re organic and oddly beautiful. However, they can be whatever you see in them. For me they are my soul being poured out. It is healing!
May 14th, 2019
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